You’ve been on the bread dating sites for months. You’ve kept an open mind and dated lots of breads just to see what was out there. But alas, after all this time and all these dates, you still haven’t found The One. The breads you’ve dated are either too sweet, too soft, too fake, or too just boring. Where is that perfect loaf?
Then one day, you see her profile. What caught your eye was her photo. Could this be The One? You couldn’t help but stare at those perfect pepper flakes on her tantalizing crust. Of course you noticed her exquisitely proportioned body. And you could tell by her photo that this one has some great personality.
So you arrange to take this bread out. You ponder for a week what to do on your date. Do you take her for a ride with butter? Organize some fixings and put her together in a sandwich? Add some chutney to a toasted slice and really go wild with sweet and salty?
And then it hits you: the perfect date plan. You decide to surprise her. When she gets to your house, hold her tenderly and compliment her beauty. Then you lay her down ever so gently and slice her just perfectly. Then you toast her up to a gorgeous golden brown. And, then, ever so gently, slide two basted eggs on top. You bring her to your mouth and, after taking just one bite, you know you have found The One. She is, in a word, Pepperfection.
Ingredients: cracked black pepper, thyme, lemon zest, personality.